HAPPY FREAKING NEW YEAR!!!

I feel like I can finally ring in a NEW year and breathe a little easier...at least for the next 6 months!  Today I had my 6 month follow up mammogram and appointment with Dr. Torstensen.  This appointment has been on my radar for a long time- scanxiety is no joke.  We woke up to a snow squall warning-I HATE winter driving- so that added to my morning concern.  I was only almost hit once.  Check in was fast and before long I was back in gowned waiting.  The new gowns were a horrible camel color that looks good on no one (surely ordered by a man).

Today my mammogram technician told me that mammograms after surgery are more painful and I can confirm, she is correct.  She took about 453 images on both breasts, which is good I guess. Then I waited for the radiologist to look things over....while I waited I thought to myself- if something comes back at least I know what to expect, I'm a pro.  And then the tech came back and told me they wanted to do an ultrasound on my left breast.  LEFT! But the right one's the bitch! Is Tabitha the Twatty Tumor's evil twin, Tulullah (a lobular hyperplasia that was non-cancerous and removed{!} in May) causing trouble!?  Should I have had a mastectomy? I don't want to do this again!  SO-obviously my "I-know-what-to-expect,-I'm-a-pro" attitude was flushed down the toilet in a matter of minutes.  The ultrasound tech dug around with her wand, then I waited, she came back and needed more images...on the opposite side of my left breast.  Fuck.  Then I waited some more and a nurse with zero personality took me to wait for Dr. T.  WHAT?!  You're not going to tell me anything!?  Or even smile??!! 

I assumed Dr. Torstensen would come in with a grim face and tell me I'd be having another biopsy....FUCK.  But....I WAS WRONG!  She arrived smiling, and asked how I was, I told her I was "okay- until all of that!"  She said she reviewed the images with the radiologist and whatever they were looking at looks like nothing and is totally benign!  WOOHOO!  HAPPY NEW YEAR!  BARF!  So...is THAT my new normal every 6 months!?!?  BARF!  She thought everything looked good, I will see her every 6 months for about 5 years, then I'll see her PA.  In July I will have an MRI, which will be a once a year thing-then I'll see Dr. T a few days after that.  I need to remember that hydroxyzine might be my friend before those appointments.

I also learned today that I should plan nothing on these appointment days.  No. Thing.  After that appointment I needed a drink.  Or a nap.  Nolan hung at Jason's parent's house during my appointment then we had brunch at HomeGrown.  Then, I helped sort show choir outfits, it was quick and easy, but then I was DONE!  Brain olympics and marathons.  Not a fan.

So now, since I haven't blogged at all during recovery, I'll go backwards with other December happenings....this is gonna be a long one, folks.

January 1st's best news was that it was the first day since 12/5 I had NO pain reliever (Advil)!  I'm feeling good.  I'm reminding myself this is a 6 week recovery for a reason, but I'm 2 weeks away from being back in the real world, so need to ramp up trying to get into some sort of routine.

We celebrated Christmas with my parents on December 23 and Jason's family on December 24.  Apparently it doesn't matter how ready I am there's always more that needs to be done on celebration days-they were delightful and kicked my ass. I don't know if it was that I over did it with the holidays, if it was because I haven't been sleeping well, or something else, but December 25, 26, and 27 I did nothing.  .  It's been a calm break for Jason and Nolan, which I'm working on not feeling guilt about since I am still on recovery mode.





My two week hysterectomy follow up was December 18.  Dr. Massey said everything was healing as it should and that I'd see her again in a month.  One of the worst parts of those first two weeks was needing daily blood thinner shots-given by Jason.  It gave me a new appreciation for people working through fertility treatments and those who are diabetic.  Dr. Massey told me I could decide if I continued those after that two week appointment- if I thought I was being active enough.  HA!  Done! 

I've had two surgeries in my life- 7 months apart.  I don't remember much from the two weeks following either surgery.  Is that the impacts of the anesthesia or narcotic pain medication getting out of my system?  I don't know.  I know I had little to no bleeding.  I have 4 1" incisions on my belly above my belly button- I figured the uterus was lower.  One of my "surgical gifts" was a before and after picture of my uterus and the empty space where it was.  Google says a uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries and a cervix weigh less than a pound are the size of a lemon.  Feels like it should have weighed at least 20 lbs.  Annoying.  Any pain I've had has been more discomfort, feeling almost like menstrual cramps.

I'm not sleeping well, hot flashes seems to be more pronounced as I'm trying to fall asleep...and I'm in a bad no-routine-loop of reading too late, not being able to fall asleep and then sleeping in.  I've had more headaches and have lost my train of thought a lot.  Google says these are post menopause symptoms with lack of hormones, and probably not a brain tumor.

2024, a year I will never forget.  I am so grateful to my family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances for all of the love, encouragement, thoughts and prayers.  I'm thankful for science, medicine and smart, kind techs, nurses and doctors.

I'm looking forward to 2025. Back to school after MLK weekend, normal life, my last (hopefully) radiation oncology appointment, spring break in the Smoky Mountains, a new nephew, a summer vacation in northern Minnesota/southern Canada.  I have some personal days to use, and I'm finishing out my final year as co-WEA President.  There is good coming in 2025!  

Included in that good are my new breasties. Aryn, Katie, Trisha, Kerisa, Kathy, Diane, Jeannie, Stephanie, Bev, Cindy, Linda, Sandy, Renae, Cathy, Barb, Paula, Colleen, Michelle, Ann, Amanda, Lexi, Ali, and so. many. more; fighters, survivors and thrivers.  Friends who have guided, laughed, screamed and cried with me as I have for them.  This community we are a part of is strong, powerful, loving and amazing, and no one wants to be a member.  

Onward, friends!  Happy New Year! I love you! Get screened!

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