Carrying April 10



 Two years ago today was diagnosis day. I would still call it the worst day of my life, a phone call I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

And…

Two years later, I am healthy and happy.

Last year, I took a personal day on April 10 because I didn’t know how I would feel. I considered doing that again, but I wanted to see what it would feel like to have a normal day. Will April 10 ever just be a “normal” day again? Probably not. But it feels okay to be at school.

Tonight is the ISEA Delegate Assembly, which takes place every two years. Two years ago, on April 12, I was on my way to dinner before DA when I got a phone call to schedule my genetic counseling appointment. My friends Allison and Anne held me up. I was completely overwhelmed. I’m certain I will be more present this time around.

Every new cancer diagnosis, whether it’s a friend, a loved one, a family member, a student, or even someone in my newsfeed, hits differently. Yes, every case is different, but they all start with that first phone call or meeting, and more questions than answers. The worst.

While I am at school today, I’ve found other ways to mark this week:

  • Jason and I got a hotel room on Wednesday so we could be closer to work after attending a Journey concert. The concert was postponed, but we enjoyed a quiet, lovely dinner and a date night at the hotel.
  • Thursday night, Mom and I went to the Come From Away dress rehearsal, an amazing musical I’ve just become familiar with (and a little obsessed with). It highlights the good in people, something I’ve experienced firsthand through all of this.
  • Tonight, I’m looking forward to seeing members of my union family.
  • Tomorrow, we have a consult to see what it would take to install a reverse osmosis water filtration system in our house, because Iowa water is… not great.
  • I’m also wearing my “Nobody Fights Alone” sweatshirt.
  • Every time I see Erin, I want to hug her. She’s not really a hugger, but she held me, literally, right after that phone call. Instead, I've been giving her so many mental hugs she’s probably starting to avoid me.

I remember writing this blog, wondering if I would ever wake up and breast cancer wouldn’t be the first thing on my mind. Other survivors assured me that, yes, I would. It’s true. It’s not the first thing I think about… even today. “Is that really my alarm? Already?”

The scars, daily medication, and quarterly doctor visits keep it pretty close to the top of my mind. But then I think about the women who’ve come before me, my tribe who continue to lift me up, and those new members of this “sisterhood” who I can love on and support.

I’m okay with those things being at the forefront of my mind.

Popular posts from this blog

Rising from the Ashes....?

 I shared with many that I viewed this school year as my re-birth.  Like a Phoenix I'm rising from the ashes of breast cancer and hysterectomy surgery, and 6 years of WEA co-presidency ready to start anew.  As it turns out...many things can be true- I can rise from the ashes and still have some junk to deal with.  Going from 0-43 overnight just isn't realistic.  So, here's my update since 4/10/25. 🔥I have a new nephew! George Micheal Masters is adorable and squishy and we LOVE him! 🔥Nolan had a good baseball season with favorable weather, he also participated in the school musical.  It is a joy to see him participate in things he enjoys! 🔥Jason turned 43 and Nolan turned 14! Last year the birthday week was marred by my lumpectomy.  This year we had an ICubs box with our families and a few of Nolan's friends. We've been spoiled and never want to go back to normal seats! 🔥SUMMER. KICKED. ASS. So much ME time, and time with Nolan.  I drummed, row...
Read more

1 YEAR!

Happy Cancerversary to ME!  Did I just make myself a new holiday? You bet I did!  Did I even take a personal day to "celebrate" said holiday? Absolutely! I put in for this personal day MONTHS ago, not knowing how I would feel about this date.  I thought about how I wanted to spend the day, but I couldn't make any decisions until about 2 weeks ago.  Would I want to spend the day doing something? Being with people? Wallowing on my couch? I knew I didn't want it to be anticlimactic as sometimes New Year's Eve's of the past were (aside from the NYE weddings- those kicked ass) or my birthday sometimes is.  I planned the whole thing out, and so far, it has not disappointed!  Replaying April and May, and looking at the appointments on the calendar has been a weird trip.  Constantly on my mind, I've been thinking about how scared I was.  Mammogram on March 29, biopsy on April 8, phone call at 3:10PM on April 10 and then not knowing anything.  And the...
Read more

I Spoke too Soon, 19/20 & Other Stuff

Image
While I am still a believer of my skin care cocktail...I got a little too cocky, too fast.  I was a little too aggressive with my shower pouf on Tuesday and sang a high note when I discovered some raw skin.  Underwires will be put away and I will be slathering on more lotion for awhile. Wednesday I took Nolan and and a buddy to Adventureland...I really don't LOVE Adventureland...until Wednesday.  I turned Nolan and his friend loose, bought myself a clam shell cabana for the day, relaxed, read my book, people watched, sang along to pool music and did a few laps in the lazy river.  It. was. glorious.  I felt a pang of sadness about Nolan growing up when we arrived and the train whistled, but that was VERY short lived.  Jason was shocked I didn't ride any rides.  I laughed at him. Today was radiation 19!  I met with Dr. Bodine, he will see me again in a month (September 5...it's a choir day...ugh!), and then again in 6 months.  If all looks good...
Read more