Silver Linings

Today we were rudely awakened by the blare of tornado warnings on our phones at 4:30AM.  We managed to go back to sleep, and- Silver Lining #1: I took Nolan to school so he could sleep a little longer.  

Jason worked from home today and Silver Lining #2: I was able to bring him a fluffy coffee after dropping Nolan off.  (I got one, too...I also learned that my current favorite Starbucks drink is 14 WW points.  Damn.)

Jason had the afternoon off so Silver Lining #3: we got to watch a Ted Lasso before we Silver Lining #4 were able to listen to Nolan play his last😥 flute solo.  All of his grandparents and Jason were there, mom was his accompanist.  Nolan was wonderful.  Love abounds!


Then Silver Lining #5:  Nolan took us out for ice cream (he's practicing with his new GreenLight card for Washington D.C.).  

All of these are things I wouldn't have been able to do if this were a "normal year."  It's weird to feel the "and" of a cancer diagnosis.  I have cancer, it absolutely sucks.  I've already had a bajillion needle pokes, 3 biopsies, more mammograms than I can count, and 2 lumpectomies and a sentinel node recovery in a month and a half.   AND I've never felt so much love in so many ways, I've gotten to spend more time with my family, I've gotten to binge watch television shows and listen to Nolan's flute solo.  

Now.  This COULD be a different post, but here we are.  


Perhaps what you see in this picture is a beautiful drink.  

Yes it was.  

Now.  Get out your x-ray goggles.  

Under that pink shirt is a breast binder and sports bra that is giving me kick ass Bridgerton cleavage.  The binder hits about 2 inches above my belly button.  

Notice I'm wearing blue jeans.  Pants with a button...my first in a couple weeks.  A button that hits about an inch below my belly button.  

In a "normal undergarment circumstance" I wouldn't have thought twice about this choice.  Today.  Woah. 

The button and belt squeezed the fluff up, the binder squeezed the fluff down, and I had the muffin top of all muffin tops.  A 3" inner tube that was NOT keeping me afloat.  

I am SO hoping Dr. T says I can be done with the binder on Tuesday!  And the next time I wear Spanx, it's by choice, and without a 3" gap...or perhaps I will just be smart enough to not wear clothes that need Spanx.  

Remember when I was bitching about wearing a sports bra for 4 days and nights?  How young and naïve I was....

All in all, today was a great day.  I felt human.  It felt really nice to "get ready," go somewhere, and be with my favorite people.





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