I'm fine. It's fine. Everything is fine.

 A quick update from the last 4 days...I probably should have written sooner to get it all off my chest.

Thursday, my first day of school, was a lot harder than I was expecting.  I felt dread, I was grumpy, cynical, not really ready/expecting the puppy dog "how are you" eyes. (Gasp! You mean not everyone reads this daily!) And I missed Amanda.  A friend and a friend's mom were recently diagnosed with cancer, and I'm finding new diagnosis are kind-of triggering.  It was nice being with my team, lunch was great, as was working in my room.  Nolan had a good time with Jason's parents at the fair.  I rowed after work, and it kicked my ass.  That night I had a good meltdown.  

Friday, I woke up tired, but in a better place than Thursday.  I had a lot of time to get good work done.  I'm also asking myself questions like, "Who am I doing this for?" and "Do I really I want to live in could and should?"  Nolan went to the fair with my mom, was happy about his schedule and Jason and I had a nice happy hour.

Saturday was more of the same, but at home.  We worked our butts off doing things that might have been done earlier this summer.  Dusting blinds and cleaning windows has turned into something I loathe.  Really adulting.  I loathe adulting...if you're catching on to my theme.

Sunday, more setting the world on fire, including a wild goose chase to find the right Sport Clips for Nolan, and crushing my funny bone/elbow while putting clean sheets on the beds.  The bruise is going to be amazing.  

I felt emotional again today, and I'm trying to figure out is this is a side effect from the Lupron or August.  Either is VERY possible.  Typically my Lexapro helps me feel a little dead inside...with a good breakthrough cry from time to time....NOT once every 4 days!  I'm told it might take some time to regulate the new normal which is frustrating too.  AND if emotion is my menopause symptom I guess things could be worse, but get ready world.

This week is a wild one:

    Mom turns 70 on Monday!  Meetings, work time and rowing, too.

    Tuesday will be meetings, a hysterectomy consult and happy hour with my friends!

    Wednesday consists of more meetings and I have a baseline bone density scan and Open House Day!

    Thursday is the day before kids, work time, therapy and rowing!

    Friday is the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!  Year 21!

I'm not sure I've had a full week of work since my diagnosis...it could be interesting!

 

    

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