I lied....

 Remember how excited I was?  How giddy?  Welp.  It was short lived.  I went to school on 1/17.  Kids had the day off, it was a teacher work day.  It felt good to be there.  That evening I chaperoned Nolan's show choir at Waukee's Starstruck, and LOVED every minute.  (Apparently Nolan did not, as he said "no" when I asked if I could chaperone the others.)

Monday arrived along with MLK Day, the Inauguration (talk about injustice), and Sunday Scary's (on a Monday)- that was the end of my excitement.  Until we were given a late start for cold temperatures...then my greed kicked in, and I hoped for the full day.  Alas, I had to face the music and felt lucky to be eased in!  Tuesday, my voice felt trashed- Apparently I talk more in the summer than I did over leave.  By Wednesday evening I was drinking Airborne and was swearing that surely I did NOT feel the need to constantly cough.  Thursday I was held together by Mucinex DM and Advil Cold and Flu.  

I went to the chiropractor after school, who said I was so tight everywhere there had to be something going on.  I felt awful- fever, cough, congestion, headaches, body aches, even my skin and hair seemed to hurt.  I felt tremendous guilt putting in for a sub for Friday, but knew that there was no way I could teach feeling as I did.  Friday morning I was diagnosed with Influenza A.  I don't think I've ever had that before, and hope never to again!  Between my flu shot (which the doctor said seems to have missed the mark this year) and Tamiflu, I am feeling human today (Sunday).  Though my voice and lower back are fighting with me on that comment.

This has done a number on my mental health.  I'd felt ready to get back into real life, take the world by storm and get on with the new me!  Now I feel like I'm in a daze.  There's so much to do and I'm not sure where to start.  I want to be normal!  But now on top of my body healing from surgery, I'm also healing from the flu.  It feels like "normalcy" has been put on hold for another week!

I'm trying to give myself grace and not feel guilt.  That's a work in progress.

Baby steps.

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