It Takes a Village

We survived the first day of school, complete with babysitting our nephews in the evening.  This might have been one of those "yes's" that sounded better at the time.  But they're cute and funny, and Jason and Nolan worked harder than I did.  I only got my teacher voice out once....no helmet negotiation with Auntie Ann.  I also started Anastrozole on Friday night. Saturday we slept late and relaxed, I went to Moulin Rouge with Allison and Ray (I LOVE it when they need to adopt me!).  Fun music, LOVE the dancing, entertaining show, great company. Last night I may have (?) experienced my first hot flash as I was trying to fall asleep.  It felt like pins and needles and heat in an instant.  It didn't last long, but wasn't comfortable.  Stay tuned on the menopause saga. I'm going to start this next part by saying that I am a believer in and fan of science and Western medicine.  That said, I'm also game for things that can't hurt, and may actually help!

What a week!  One more day, the biggest day.  This week was a full week of school- work days and meetings.  I've actually felt pretty ready and relaxed with it all, but a little distracted. Monday we celebrated Mom's 70th Birthday with Casey's pizza and ice cream cake...she knows how to party.  I made her Shutterfly books from our trip, and I was so excited to gift them! This week I had a hysterectomy consult.  I really liked Dr. Masse, I learned about the procedure and recovery.  Now I have to decide if I want to get on the schedule.  She suggested, if I had a time in mind, to schedule it and cancel if I changed my mind.  In my head I would like to do this the Monday before Thanksgiving,  so I'd need lesson plans for 3.5 weeks instead of 6.  Perhaps the highlight of this visit....I GOT TO KEEP MY CLOTHES ON! I also had a baseline bone density scan.  Because the new medication I'm on will shut down my ovaries and the anastrozole that I add tomorrow will take the res

 A quick update from the last 4 days...I probably should have written sooner to get it all off my chest. Thursday, my first day of school, was a lot harder than I was expecting.  I felt dread, I was grumpy, cynical, not really ready/expecting the puppy dog "how are you" eyes. (Gasp! You mean not everyone reads this daily!) And I missed Amanda.  A friend and a friend's mom were recently diagnosed with cancer, and I'm finding new diagnosis are kind-of triggering.  It was nice being with my team, lunch was great, as was working in my room.  Nolan had a good time with Jason's parents at the fair.  I rowed after work, and it kicked my ass.  That night I had a good meltdown.   Friday, I woke up tired, but in a better place than Thursday.  I had a lot of time to get good work done.  I'm also asking myself questions like, "Who am I doing this for?" and "Do I really I want to live in could and should?"  Nolan went to the fair with my mom, was happy

A question that feels too complex to answer. My summer was great! I....     - went to a bunch of Nolan's baseball games     - spent a lot of quality time with lots of different friends     - celebrated our 19th anniversary, while Nolan was in Washington, D.C.     - went to Cedar Rapids for Taste of Kodaly     -started therapy     -had the trip of a lifetime to Europe with Jason, Nolan and my mom     -drummed with a Master Drummer for an entire weekend     -won a (runner-up) Excellence in Education award     -enjoyed alone time     -hosted a couple of fun, yummy gatherings     -went paddle boarding and kayaked     -turned 42     -had a lot of great naps     - enjoyed Adventureland, Board and Brush and a golf outing     -tried a new workout     -read/listened to 16 books     -all of the medical professionals keep telling me I'm young!     -reflected and remembered what an amazing tribe I have AND.....My summer kind of sucked!  I...     -didn't finish the school year     - rec

 My dad had his shoulder replaced today.  While the surgery was delayed due to weird hospital things, it sounds like the surgery was a success.  He's requested no visitors (besides mom), so I'll see him when he gets home tomorrow.  It will feel like a long recovery ahead for him. I met with the medical oncologist's nurse practitioner today and had labs...then I had my first shot of Lupron...in. my. ass.  Which will shut down my ovaries, putting me into medically induced menopause.  She told me I may start to feel side effects in as soon as two days.  In 2 weeks I will start anastrozole....2 weeks is August 23.  The first day of school.  The ARNP told me that she had an ISU professor that had such brain fog on anastrozole for the first few months that she couldn't teach.  That won't be me.  Surely.  Zero side effects (except no period....that one I like.) One of my Brookview friends randomly checked in this morning, and it was interesting to reflect...though I also f

 I feel them today!  They're in there. My physical today was fine.  She gave me a lot of time, and did some blood work for my school wellness program.  And me....I guess it's good for me to know those things, too.  Therapy was good too- I just talk and reflect, I think it will help hold me accountable for my reflections. (Exercising, remembering that I'm replaceable at work, but not home, circle of control, WEA membership is not directly related to people not liking me, etc.) I started thinking and wondering about how many medical appointments I've been to this summer. Days in Summer (last day of teachers-first day of teachers)- 75 Days Appointments with medical professionals- 43 (5 of those were Nolan's, 1 was mom's, 37 were mine, 20 of which were radiation) That makes me feel EVEN MORE THANKFUL that the timing of this "adventure" happened when it did.  We would have made it work if I were in school because there would have been no other choice, but i

First, my tender skin still hurts, but I'm managing.  Jason brought me one of those silly neck fans from the camping stuff last night....as a joke.  You can use your imagination but it worked and it made me laugh.  Second, today I was brave and went to a new workout place, alone, where I didn't know anyone...and I didn't die.  Every time I ask a doctor what I should do to prevent symptoms, possible bone density issues, etc. that come with my impending medically induced menopause they've said exercise and strength training.  UGH!  I KNOW!  STOP YELLING AT ME!  I really don't enjoy exercising.  At all.  Or sweating.  I've had a few stints in my life while doing Couch to 5K and 21 Day Fix when I actually craved it, but those stints have been few and far between.  It's time.  It's past time.   I was intrigued about Iron and Oars in Waukee, which is owned by a Scout mom.  I sent her a big long email sharing my whole story (and concern about dying), and never

 I should map out my pity party days and see if there's a pattern.  I thought the hard stuff was over.  Today was NOT my favorite day.  I was tired and (TMI alert), the peeling under my boob is getting worse and it hurts, as does my armpit.  Enough that I couldn't bear to put on a bra so I skipped drumming.  I maybe needed a day to not leave the house. All I wanted to do was lay on my bed with a fan blowing on the burn.  So that's mostly what I did.  I read and napped and whined.  My friend, Arynn says the next 2 weeks are the worst.  Why didn't the doctors tell me that!?!  :-( I did come to life for a while this evening, so the house is ready for another week.  I see 6 doctors this week.  I'm sick of doctors.  Tomorrow is a new day.  OBGYN at 9AM.   

 Radiation is done!  4 weeks, 5 days a week!  No zapping or sizzling sounds.  The first 3 weeks were of the entire breast and lymph node area, the last week was just of the tumor site and actually took longer.  But even the longer days I was in and out within 15 minutes.  Curious about radiation?  I give a rundown below. Every day Ryan or Anna came and got me in the waiting room (today I had my entourage), I changed and always put my things in the orange locker.  (For Nolan's hair.)            Then there was another waiting space with Wine Enthusiast magazines from last fall...but they were always so fast, I never had time to tuck in.  I should have taken a picutre of how thick the door and walls are to the radiation room.  It is, in fact, also the storm shelter!  This is the radiation machine.  I laid on the "bed" (plastic board covered in a sheet) and it moved up and could adjust if I was not perfectly aligned.  The gray machine that Ryan thinks looks like a giant stand

 When am I considered cancer free?  Or was that May 15 after surgery? When am I "done" with cancer treatment?  After the last radiation? After I get my first Lupron shot?  Never? I need to send an email to building reps!  ASAP! I'm hungry. How will bus duty work with classes starting at 9? OMG!  Jason's initials are JD! Should I get up and write these things down now?  Go to the guest room and read? Oooh Strands and Connections are new!   Ugh, apparently my brain is too tired for Connections, just not tired enough to sleep. Should I get my radiation techs goodbye/thank you gifts?  Crap!   Would they let me take pictures of the room? Will I ever fall alseep? Hush little baby don't say a word, mama's gonna buy you a mocking bird......

While I am still a believer of my skin care cocktail...I got a little too cocky, too fast.  I was a little too aggressive with my shower pouf on Tuesday and sang a high note when I discovered some raw skin.  Underwires will be put away and I will be slathering on more lotion for awhile. Wednesday I took Nolan and and a buddy to Adventureland...I really don't LOVE Adventureland...until Wednesday.  I turned Nolan and his friend loose, bought myself a clam shell cabana for the day, relaxed, read my book, people watched, sang along to pool music and did a few laps in the lazy river.  It. was. glorious.  I felt a pang of sadness about Nolan growing up when we arrived and the train whistled, but that was VERY short lived.  Jason was shocked I didn't ride any rides.  I laughed at him. Today was radiation 19!  I met with Dr. Bodine, he will see me again in a month (September 5...it's a choir day...ugh!), and then again in 6 months.  If all looks good then, I will see him at Trailri