It Takes a Village

This morning was our flu shot/COVID vaccine clinic at school.  I handed the woman the paperwork I filled out on Friday and said I needed to have both vaccines in my left arm.  She said, "We'll do one in your left and one in your right."  I said, "I'm a lymphadema risk and I need both vaccines in my left arm."  She shut up really fast and told me she'd spread them out a little. Why is this bothering me so much!?!  It was three minutes of my life on a Monday morning, this isn't a big deal.  But also...listen to me!  Don't just assume you know better than I do!  Also, it already sucked to have to remember this new fact of life, so don't make it harder than it needs to be! Also WHINE!  I don't WANNA have to remember this and remind people for the rest of my life!  And now I just want to go home.

 Today was a weird day.  Since my diagnosis almost 6 months ago, 3 of my friends have been diagnosed with breast cancer.  Hearing of their diagnosis', definitely hit different than it did BC (before cancer).  I've learned that while every diagnosis, story and treatment plan is different, this is certainly a sisterhood.  The survivors before me have been, and continue to be, invaluable to me during my treatment/maintenance, and I've tried to be that to my friends.  Today one of them had a lumpectomy.  I woke up thinking about her, and checked my phone/Facebook for updates on surgery during every free moment I had. While it allowed me time to reflect on what a yucky experience the waiting must have been for family and friends, I didn't enjoy it!  I dare say it was easier being the patient (on surgery day)than someone concerned about the patient!   I am SO thankful for my SISTERS who have reached out to me, answered questions, given me REAL stories, things to expect, help,

 I've been MIA from the blog because I. have. nothing. to. write. about!  That's a good thing!!!  Things are going well!  The school year is in full swing.  Routine is such a GOOD thing for me....if only I could force myself to get into a routine during the summer because I DO also like not working.  I'm rowing 3 times a week.  I'm thinking about planning for my absence in December- mostly about what I need/want to get in before I go, and have ready for when I get back.  I have a good lead on a super-qualified music sub....which has made me feel a lot more peaceful about everything (maybe now worrying they'll want to keep her😍)...more on that once it's official.  :-). 

That's certainly a CRUDE title...but it made me giggle as I wrote it.  (I would blame it on the 13 year old I live with rubbing off on me....) Wednesday was our first early out of the school year.  I tried to get as many appointments taken care of BEFORE school started so that I could be present during PD and not have to write sub plans.  When I met with my OBGYN about my hysterectomy consult, she'd told me to call and get on the schedule, and said I could always cancel if needed.  WELLLLLL....I tried that but ended up having to make an appointment to sign. consent. forms.  Really?  A quarter day to sign forms?  Yup.  AND she made me step on the scale and have my blood pressure taken.....for forms.  ANNOYED.   I did ask if the cramping I've been experiencing could be from the Lupron and Anastrozole, and Dr. Masse said, "hmmmmm.  Not usually.  When's the last time you had an ultrasound?"  LORD.  "14 years ago."  "Let's see if we can get you i

Last week was normal.  As I wrote last Sunday, I hadn't had a "normal" week with no doctor appointments or early out schedules since the last week in FEBRUARY!  That's a long time.  Routine is good for me.  I felt good, I enjoyed doing my thing.  Brookview is a little smaller this year, and I'm taking that as a gift, at a time when I need my schedule to be kind to me.  Susan taught us an amazing parachute routine that I, in turn, taught to my 3rd, 4th and 5th graders during their second music class.  I think it brought us all A LOT of joy.  As did my new beet Squishmellow for the younger kids. My goal, right now, is to row 3 times a week.  I rowed on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday after school.  It helped me have more energy and stay out of the pantry (after school is my witching/binging hour).  Wednesday I had a WEA meeting, and Friday Jason and I met for happy hour.  Friday I was also in bed at 7PM!  That might be a new record.  12 hours of sleep was needed after

We survived the first day of school, complete with babysitting our nephews in the evening.  This might have been one of those "yes's" that sounded better at the time.  But they're cute and funny, and Jason and Nolan worked harder than I did.  I only got my teacher voice out once....no helmet negotiation with Auntie Ann.  I also started Anastrozole on Friday night. Saturday we slept late and relaxed, I went to Moulin Rouge with Allison and Ray (I LOVE it when they need to adopt me!).  Fun music, LOVE the dancing, entertaining show, great company. Last night I may have (?) experienced my first hot flash as I was trying to fall asleep.  It felt like pins and needles and heat in an instant.  It didn't last long, but wasn't comfortable.  Stay tuned on the menopause saga. I'm going to start this next part by saying that I am a believer in and fan of science and Western medicine.  That said, I'm also game for things that can't hurt, and may actually help!

What a week!  One more day, the biggest day.  This week was a full week of school- work days and meetings.  I've actually felt pretty ready and relaxed with it all, but a little distracted. Monday we celebrated Mom's 70th Birthday with Casey's pizza and ice cream cake...she knows how to party.  I made her Shutterfly books from our trip, and I was so excited to gift them! This week I had a hysterectomy consult.  I really liked Dr. Masse, I learned about the procedure and recovery.  Now I have to decide if I want to get on the schedule.  She suggested, if I had a time in mind, to schedule it and cancel if I changed my mind.  In my head I would like to do this the Monday before Thanksgiving,  so I'd need lesson plans for 3.5 weeks instead of 6.  Perhaps the highlight of this visit....I GOT TO KEEP MY CLOTHES ON! I also had a baseline bone density scan.  Because the new medication I'm on will shut down my ovaries and the anastrozole that I add tomorrow will take the res

 A quick update from the last 4 days...I probably should have written sooner to get it all off my chest. Thursday, my first day of school, was a lot harder than I was expecting.  I felt dread, I was grumpy, cynical, not really ready/expecting the puppy dog "how are you" eyes. (Gasp! You mean not everyone reads this daily!) And I missed Amanda.  A friend and a friend's mom were recently diagnosed with cancer, and I'm finding new diagnosis are kind-of triggering.  It was nice being with my team, lunch was great, as was working in my room.  Nolan had a good time with Jason's parents at the fair.  I rowed after work, and it kicked my ass.  That night I had a good meltdown.   Friday, I woke up tired, but in a better place than Thursday.  I had a lot of time to get good work done.  I'm also asking myself questions like, "Who am I doing this for?" and "Do I really I want to live in could and should?"  Nolan went to the fair with my mom, was happy

A question that feels too complex to answer. My summer was great! I....     - went to a bunch of Nolan's baseball games     - spent a lot of quality time with lots of different friends     - celebrated our 19th anniversary, while Nolan was in Washington, D.C.     - went to Cedar Rapids for Taste of Kodaly     -started therapy     -had the trip of a lifetime to Europe with Jason, Nolan and my mom     -drummed with a Master Drummer for an entire weekend     -won a (runner-up) Excellence in Education award     -enjoyed alone time     -hosted a couple of fun, yummy gatherings     -went paddle boarding and kayaked     -turned 42     -had a lot of great naps     - enjoyed Adventureland, Board and Brush and a golf outing     -tried a new workout     -read/listened to 16 books     -all of the medical professionals keep telling me I'm young!     -reflected and remembered what an amazing tribe I have AND.....My summer kind of sucked!  I...     -didn't finish the school year     - rec

 My dad had his shoulder replaced today.  While the surgery was delayed due to weird hospital things, it sounds like the surgery was a success.  He's requested no visitors (besides mom), so I'll see him when he gets home tomorrow.  It will feel like a long recovery ahead for him. I met with the medical oncologist's nurse practitioner today and had labs...then I had my first shot of Lupron...in. my. ass.  Which will shut down my ovaries, putting me into medically induced menopause.  She told me I may start to feel side effects in as soon as two days.  In 2 weeks I will start anastrozole....2 weeks is August 23.  The first day of school.  The ARNP told me that she had an ISU professor that had such brain fog on anastrozole for the first few months that she couldn't teach.  That won't be me.  Surely.  Zero side effects (except no period....that one I like.) One of my Brookview friends randomly checked in this morning, and it was interesting to reflect...though I also f

 I feel them today!  They're in there. My physical today was fine.  She gave me a lot of time, and did some blood work for my school wellness program.  And me....I guess it's good for me to know those things, too.  Therapy was good too- I just talk and reflect, I think it will help hold me accountable for my reflections. (Exercising, remembering that I'm replaceable at work, but not home, circle of control, WEA membership is not directly related to people not liking me, etc.) I started thinking and wondering about how many medical appointments I've been to this summer. Days in Summer (last day of teachers-first day of teachers)- 75 Days Appointments with medical professionals- 43 (5 of those were Nolan's, 1 was mom's, 37 were mine, 20 of which were radiation) That makes me feel EVEN MORE THANKFUL that the timing of this "adventure" happened when it did.  We would have made it work if I were in school because there would have been no other choice, but i

First, my tender skin still hurts, but I'm managing.  Jason brought me one of those silly neck fans from the camping stuff last night....as a joke.  You can use your imagination but it worked and it made me laugh.  Second, today I was brave and went to a new workout place, alone, where I didn't know anyone...and I didn't die.  Every time I ask a doctor what I should do to prevent symptoms, possible bone density issues, etc. that come with my impending medically induced menopause they've said exercise and strength training.  UGH!  I KNOW!  STOP YELLING AT ME!  I really don't enjoy exercising.  At all.  Or sweating.  I've had a few stints in my life while doing Couch to 5K and 21 Day Fix when I actually craved it, but those stints have been few and far between.  It's time.  It's past time.   I was intrigued about Iron and Oars in Waukee, which is owned by a Scout mom.  I sent her a big long email sharing my whole story (and concern about dying), and never

 I should map out my pity party days and see if there's a pattern.  I thought the hard stuff was over.  Today was NOT my favorite day.  I was tired and (TMI alert), the peeling under my boob is getting worse and it hurts, as does my armpit.  Enough that I couldn't bear to put on a bra so I skipped drumming.  I maybe needed a day to not leave the house. All I wanted to do was lay on my bed with a fan blowing on the burn.  So that's mostly what I did.  I read and napped and whined.  My friend, Arynn says the next 2 weeks are the worst.  Why didn't the doctors tell me that!?!  :-( I did come to life for a while this evening, so the house is ready for another week.  I see 6 doctors this week.  I'm sick of doctors.  Tomorrow is a new day.  OBGYN at 9AM.   

 Radiation is done!  4 weeks, 5 days a week!  No zapping or sizzling sounds.  The first 3 weeks were of the entire breast and lymph node area, the last week was just of the tumor site and actually took longer.  But even the longer days I was in and out within 15 minutes.  Curious about radiation?  I give a rundown below. Every day Ryan or Anna came and got me in the waiting room (today I had my entourage), I changed and always put my things in the orange locker.  (For Nolan's hair.)            Then there was another waiting space with Wine Enthusiast magazines from last fall...but they were always so fast, I never had time to tuck in.  I should have taken a picutre of how thick the door and walls are to the radiation room.  It is, in fact, also the storm shelter!  This is the radiation machine.  I laid on the "bed" (plastic board covered in a sheet) and it moved up and could adjust if I was not perfectly aligned.  The gray machine that Ryan thinks looks like a giant stand

 When am I considered cancer free?  Or was that May 15 after surgery? When am I "done" with cancer treatment?  After the last radiation? After I get my first Lupron shot?  Never? I need to send an email to building reps!  ASAP! I'm hungry. How will bus duty work with classes starting at 9? OMG!  Jason's initials are JD! Should I get up and write these things down now?  Go to the guest room and read? Oooh Strands and Connections are new!   Ugh, apparently my brain is too tired for Connections, just not tired enough to sleep. Should I get my radiation techs goodbye/thank you gifts?  Crap!   Would they let me take pictures of the room? Will I ever fall alseep? Hush little baby don't say a word, mama's gonna buy you a mocking bird......

While I am still a believer of my skin care cocktail...I got a little too cocky, too fast.  I was a little too aggressive with my shower pouf on Tuesday and sang a high note when I discovered some raw skin.  Underwires will be put away and I will be slathering on more lotion for awhile. Wednesday I took Nolan and and a buddy to Adventureland...I really don't LOVE Adventureland...until Wednesday.  I turned Nolan and his friend loose, bought myself a clam shell cabana for the day, relaxed, read my book, people watched, sang along to pool music and did a few laps in the lazy river.  It. was. glorious.  I felt a pang of sadness about Nolan growing up when we arrived and the train whistled, but that was VERY short lived.  Jason was shocked I didn't ride any rides.  I laughed at him. Today was radiation 19!  I met with Dr. Bodine, he will see me again in a month (September 5...it's a choir day...ugh!), and then again in 6 months.  If all looks good then, I will see him at Trailri

 People who know me well know that my love languages are food (SHOCKER if you read 42! ) and words of affirmation.  I like to know if people think I'm doing a good job...I like a back pat.  Apparently I even like a back pat from medical professionals during radiation! I was worried about radiation burns from the beginning so have been religious about skin care.  I've gone with clean skin- no moisturizer, lotion or deodorant before.  Luckily my appointment is always at 11 and I'm not working, so I've only smelled myself twice...😅 I started the month with Goldbond Healing(recommended by the radiologists) and Lume (as I'd also read/heard that the aluminum in antiperspirant can mess with radiation skin reactions). I had a dermatologist appointment right after I started radiation and they recommended Biafine.  Biafine is French, you can get it on Amazon, but it took awhile.  Had I known, I would have visited a French pharmacy, but I think it will be a staple in our hous

 Today I turned 42!  I wanted to eat good food, relax with no plans and finish my book.  Sometimes I build my birthday up like a New Years Eve celebration and then am disappointed with too high of expectations.  None of that this year.   I'm going to say the "party" started Sunday, at drumming when we toasted airline bottles of Screwball. Then it continued yesterday with the Aunties as we had Mich Ultra and Scotcharoo Day (among other things). Today Nolan and I slept in despite Ally's best attempts at guarding our corner (she and I have been fighting since). We had La Mie croissants with Nutella for breakfast.  Then I had radiation 12/20!  I'm 3/5 done!  I did take birthday treats...though I didn't eat any of THOSE... I stopped at Starbuck's on the way home, about the time Amanda, TJ and fam were arriving in Phuket, and had then Ham and Cheese croissants from La Mie for lunch.  (Judge away people, the list isn't complete.....).  Between radiation and N

 I've learned a little about geography in the last few months.  And that Phuket, Thailand is pronounced "poo-ket," NOT how it looks...although I may have referred to it as that a few times.   About the time I was getting a cancer diagnosis my school bestie was getting hired to teach art at UWC Thailand in Phuket!  She has talked about teaching over seas as long as I've known her. (12 years). I am so proud of her and TJ for finding jobs in an interesting place, taking a risk, sharing their talents and being brave.   It was so strange missing the end of the year knowing that she won't be there when I START the year, but we've spent some quality time together this summer.  It's time for their adventure to begin!  We've created an Art/Music Collab Google Doc to communicate with, and I've downloaded WhatsApp.  We've laughed about Face-timing as one of us gets to school with the 12 hour time difference.  It's going to be okay, not the same, but o