It Takes a Village

4/29/24 While I felt guilt, I kept my personal day today. Not-Pink Pedicure ✔. (New place in Waukee called Divine...it's beautiful....and it has a BAR!) Costco ✔ Gift Cards for Teacher Appreciation ✔ Plants for the front yard ✔ Mother's Day Gifts ✔ Graduation cards written and sent ✔ Started Girls5Eva ✔ Planted front yard plants ✔ All of these things have been hanging over my head since I don't know when surgery will be, and it felt so good to get them done!  Jason and Nolan's birthdays are also in May...whose idea was that!?!  I'm not organized for those yet, but hope to get there this week! Tomorrow I'll keep the momentum going and get stuff done at school!  WOOHOO!

 Hehehehehehe.... Did you know that Smash Park has bingo and brunch on Sundays from 11-1?  I've loved Bingo since Survival Bingo at Simpson where the prizes were Tide and toilet paper, and they made a big deal of O-69.  Anyway, I met my "Bible Study" friends there this morning and it was great fun!  (My "Bible Study" friends are people I met when I attended church, we get together a few times a year and cocktails are always involved...no bibles.) In other news...the 70 genes they tested for ALL cancer mutations came back NEGATIVE!   Apparently the genetics people at Invitae work 24/7.  Good news going into a new week!

4/27/24 Friday was a work day at school!  HOORAY!  I worked on progress reports, prepping for the end of the year, and possible sub plans.  It's hard to write sub plans not knowing exactly when they might be implemented, but I feel like I have a good outline for the rest of the year that I can pull from or I can write sub plans for. Kali called and set up an appointment with Dr. Torstenson on Friday, May 3.  We're going to talk through a surgical update since including Tallulah in the mix, and schedule surgery(probably a lumpectomy on each breast and sentinel lymph node surgery).  Kali thinks it will happen within the next few weeks.  I wonder what "few" means to Kali.  Kali is also getting ready to have a baby which is super exciting, but I'm already feeling attached to her!  The biopsies from Tuesday haven't been painful.  The left side itches.  Lymphadora aches a little and I tried to put my backpack on both shoulders yesterday and was quickly reminded that

Perhaps you're thinking,"wait, didn't Ann say she was on a 'faith journey?'  Why is 'Let People Be Jesus to You' the title of this blog post?"  Yes.  Let me explain.  Earlier this week I received an email from my friend Robin, that said, "let people be Jesus to you.....They have been called and do not turn them away."  For some reason that comment hit me like a ton of bricks.   I've been able to feel SO much love and care in the last 2 weeks it is hard to wrap my brain around.  My family has been outstanding at a time when I know they are also so scared.  They have poured their love into me.  My friends (I'm not going to say 'and colleagues' here because they are also my friends), have spoiled me, acted interested, celebrated and cried with me.  The medical professionals I have met so far have hugged me, let me cry, make bad jokes, told me the truth, taught me new things and have seen me VERY vulnerable.🙈  ALL of these people

 Apparently the genetics people work around the clock, because the Breast Cancer Stat Panel of 9 Breast Cancer genes came back at 12:08AM: NEGATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! See what I did there with the pink?  They are still analyzing my DNA for 70 other cancer mutations...but those aren't important right now.  The ones that are important right now are: NEGATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 4/24/24 I am exhausted.  Of course this makes me think there's something else wrong with me when it's probably the trauma of the last 2 weeks.  I don't throw the word trauma around lightly...is that what this is?  Has it really been 2 weeks!  I skipped a meeting tonight, and came right home for ice packs and a 90 minute nap.  It's 8:02 and I'm laying in bed.  I've been sleeping okay at night, this is just bizarre. No new results.  Still waiting.  I am so hopeful that yesterday's biopsies were out of an abundance of caution and the genetics are all negative. Now, my new interesting annoyance:  Pink.  Pink hasn't ever been my favorite color.  I usually keep one pink top in my closet at a time.  Over spring break I had my toe nails painted light pink and now I look down and feel angry.  What made me choose that color?  (It's time for a pedicure.)  I know the camaraderie of the light pink ribbon is comforting to some, but right now, that's not a clu

 4/23/24 Apologies to anyone named Tabitha or Tallulah, and anyone who doesn't like the word twatty. I woke up grumpy and mad at the world today, then Kathy brought me an amazing basket of cards to open on this journey and goodies from my Brookview family.  Poor Kathy got an ear full....and tears.  Emily brought me a beautiful loaf of bread, and I was showered with many hugs.  As one of my former students said on the KELLY CLARKSON SHOW TODAY....I'm so grateful for the support, but not the reason it's needed.  She had to learn that lesson at age 10.  I'm learning that lesson at age 41 and today, I hate it. I left school at noon, dropped off my FMLA paperwork at Katzmann and went to Imaging.  They got me right in.  The ultrasound tech has kids at Shuler, the mammogram tech, kids at Eason.  I'm kind of glad their kids aren't at Brookview, but it was still nice to "talk Waukee" to them and LAUGH.  The radiologist decided to biopsy both sites that they'

4/22/24 I read somewhere I needed deodorant without aluminum- maybe that was the radiation paperwork.  I ordered some Lume, as I've been intrigued by their commercials and Emily suggested it.  Becky then stocked me up with 5 other aluminum free deodorants.  Does deodorant expire? These overalls have been in my closet for a year and a half, I've been doing WW since January and they finally fit!  I don't really know what to wear with overalls...so I decided to to go full on 1994.  Plaid shirt over the bibs.  I think I peed less when I was in 7th grade. Allison and Arynn said I must have a boob pillow .  If I weren't also thinking about why I need the boob pillow, I'd think it was actually comfortable!  I'm told this will be a valuable tool when riding in the car or sleeping no matter which surgery I end up having to have. Today was another glorious NORMAL day at school.  I'm just loving NORMAL things right now.  Nolan and I went to part of the school board m

 4/21/24 I need more weekends like this weekend.  Comfy clothes, few plans and a mix of relaxation and productivity. This morning I wrote sub plans for Tuesday afternoon, looked at things for the 5th grade concert and did some WEA work.  Jason made us brunch and I continued working on laundry. I drummed at Whispers, laughed a lot, succeeded at a tricky rhythm, and celebrated with shots! I met the Advent Wine Women at Saints where other members of my Brookview/Waukee family also happened to be.  I received some unexpected, encouraging hugs....damnit, I wasn't going to cry tonight!  A little background on the Advent Wine Women- the text group was finally named because we got wine advent calendars one year...and the rest is history...I will refer to them as AWW from now on. My favorite thing about the AWW is that we can text all day long and get together and talk about anything and everything, go home and continue texting.  The same was true for tonight.  It's hard to find a time

 4/20/24 Today was wonderful but too fast!  We slept in, watched Rock the Block while grading papers and writing thank you notes, and mowed (I've never mowed in 2 long sleeved shirts and an ear wrap before, but it felt good!).  We helped my parents raise their new water tower, ate at the OP, ran to Dick's for baseball pants, and Crocs for Nolan's musical, I struck out on the comfy sports bra...I'll order a SHEFit and hope for the best.  We stopped at Crumbl on the way to Fit to be Tied (my Birkenstocks are holding on my a thread, and some other fun shoes were on sale), HyVee, laundry and wrote more thank you notes.   I feel like I didn't even put a dent in the list of things I need to/want to do, but today was a good start.  While at HyVee, my brain started to make up stories...what if the lymph node comes back positive and the spot in the left breast, and my neck felt stiff today and my stomach rumbled weird and what if it's everywhere!?!?  Why did groceries an

 4/19/24 Today was a good day.  It was my first "normal day" since Monday, and I needed it!  It's interesting how perspective changes.  School feels good because it's something I know and is within my circle of control.  5th graders were bowling today so I spent the extra 30 minute gift of time filing, organizing and putting some things away that I would normally put away at the end of May.  I started making lists of sub ideas, things that will need to come off the wall/be put away, and other things I need to finish/do.   I got to pick up Nolan from musical practice, started laundry and took a couch nap, and the three of us have been on the couch watching Amazing Race and Rock the Block all. night. long.  Bliss.  I did do some grading while couch sitting, but again, circle of control. I did talk to Kali, my Katzmann nurse navigator.  She really just helped me process the MRI and what that may or may not mean.  Basically, everyone's diagnosis is uniquely theirs, an

4/18/24 Today was first grade concert day! WOOHOO!  The dress rehearsals were great.   At 3:15 I had a minute to check email and saw an email from Kali my nurse navigator, I sent her an email last night with a few questions I've thought of since our appointment on Friday.  She responded with all of the answers and that she had my MRI results, how would I like to receive those....she'd be in the office until 3?  Notice above I said 3:15 is when I checked my email.  Eff.  I called Katzmann asking someone to call me and Trish the breast navigator in imaging.  Trish called me back.  Bless her.  A lymph node on the right side lit up in my MRI and a 5mm lesion lit up in my left breast.  Damnit.  Trish told me that anything that's not normal tissue lights up in an MRI, that doesn't necessarily mean cancer.  It might mean a cyst or something.   So.  Now I *get* to go Tuesday afternoon to have more imaging.  Lucky me.  They're going to ultrasound and mammogram and if the rad

 4/17/24 I'm tired.  I was tired yesterday and when I turned off the light I was wired.  I looked at the clock for the last time at 1:30.  I'm hoping it's easier tonight...but the waiting isn't fun.  Reading the 300 page Breast Cancer textbook before bed is probably not helping either. This morning was the OBGYN.  They were so nice and kind and scheduled me for a longer appointment so we could talk and I could ask questions.  The procedure was nothing, a little bit of cramping and spotting.  Lord, do I really want to share this with the world!?! 😅. I'll be adding "feminine hygiene products" to this week's grocery list.  I haven't missed them.  Nor have I been keeping up on what's "new."  I'm guessing I'll learn quickly!  I hustled to school to practice with kids I missed Friday.  Their concert is tomorrow!  Fonziba came to professional development to teach us how to teach kids how to drum.  3 hours of drumming and making musi

4/17/24 As I was getting ready for bed last night I was thinking about all of the medical professionals I've come in contact with since March 29. March 29: 2 front desk people, 1 mammogram person, 1 ultra sound person, and while I never met the radiologist, she looked at the images. April 8: 2 front desk people, 2 mammogram/biopsy people, radiologist April 10: Breast Navigator April 12:  1 Front desk person, 1 nurse navigator, surgeon April 16:  1 Front desk person, 2 MRI people, 1 front desk person, genetic counselor, 2 people to draw blood. April 17:  1 Front desk person, 1 nurse, ARNP 24 medical professionals directly related to my care, and this is just the start.  ALL WOMEN .  ALL AMAZING!    *Apologies to all medical professionals- I need to do better at learning your titles, as I know it's not "mammogram person." *Thank you, Beyonce, for the dance party while getting ready this morning, I don't think I'd ever listened to "Run the World" before

4/16/24 Nolan presented this to me this morning.  His first FCS sewing project.  I love FCS.  First cooking, now this!  I'm not sure if his intention was that it would become my mascot....BUT it's going to be my mascot.  A high school friend used AI to come up with Captain Boobie Saver.  I just asked ChatGPT and it said:      " How about "Aria Courage"? It combines strength and bravery with a melody that suggests resilience and harmony amidst the challenges she faces." Kind of creepy how accurate Chat GPT nailed me. Mom suggested Captain Don't F*%# With Me. Gasp! I've never heard THAT word! I can't believe it came out of her mouth!😂 Anyway, that's what's sticking right now. This morning I started at Imaging for an MRI.  It was the emptiest I've seen the waiting room and I got right in!  Leading up to this appointment I was asked several times if I was claustrophobic.  If I were trapped in a elevator full of people, yes.  Face d

 4/15/24 This post could have also been called.  "A ZIT!?!  Are you kidding me!"  Or "Come on brain, I need you to not be an idiot!"  "Overwhelmed by Love," was the most positive, though all are accurate for today! Seriously, if you ever have to go through something big, I hope you work somewhere like Brookview Elementary.  So many hugs, so much love.   I'm already asking for help: Will you please make copies for Thursday's program?  I didn't get it sent to Central Print last week. Will you please give me more copies?  Last week got away from me.   Will you please get me a sub for Tuesday and Wednesday morning?   Will you please help me set up the gym Thursday?   Will you please make my email stop yelling at me?  I know I'm behind.   Will you please teach my sub how to count off rhythms?   Will you please sign us up for the ITPDP meeting?   Will you please take care of me when we need to do our concert scheduling?  I need to not think about

 4/14/24 This morning I started this Blog, there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything I WANT to do!  Sadly, the world is continuing to turn even though I want to read all of the information the doctor gave me, write the blog/journal and relax.  UGH!  We also got a TON of yard work done which has been hanging over our heads.  It felt good to be in the sun, sweating.  I've been going to djembe class on Sundays since June.  It's become "my church" and my classmates are "my people."  I've been both excited for class, but also dreading it because I honestly thought I'd see them, start playing and lose it.  But I didn't.  It was just good.  Good. Good.  Good.  When I drum I am fully present!  I have to be, or my hands won't work.  It also felt good to hit something.  And I just really love those people, I am so thankful to have found Linda and the gang at Whispers!  You all should come! Jason and Nolan went to Scouts giving me time t

 Do you have family history of breast cancer?   No.  I am not aware of any blood relatives who have had breast cancer.  My mom has had 4 Melanomas in situ.  I am having genetic testing because of her melanomas and because I am under 50.  We are hoping for very. boring. test. results. Did they find this during a mammogram, or did you feel a lump? I had my yearly mammogram on August 29.  At that mammogram they saw something irregular and did an ultrasound.  They decided they'd like to look again in 6 months.  Getting things scheduled between Iowa Clinic and Mercy for the follow up was kind-of a nightmare, so 6 months became 7.  On March 29 I had another mammogram and ultra sound.  They weren't sure what they were looking at, but it was still there, so I had the biopsy on April 8.  A stereotactic biopsy, guided by mammogram.  Once I got over the fear, it was pretty fascinating.  THANK YOU SCIENCE! A little back history.  I had a breast biopsy when I was 8 weeks pregnant with Nolan

 4/13/24 Today I went to Delegate Assembly determined to be more attentive, with a plan on when I would leave if needed.  Wellllllll....I failed.  I'll do better next year.  I left at 12 and went to Barnes and Noble for cute thank you cards and a journal to take to all medical appointments and keep track of all of the notes in.  (Jason didn't like my recycled notebook of Nolan's he took notes in yesterday.). My Aunt also instructed me to have retail therapy and I am a rule follower.   Saturday evening Jason's family came over for supper.  We invited them over, but made them bring the food!  HA!  GENIUS!  Anyway, it was beautiful outside, and a really lovely distraction for ALL of us!!!  

 4/12/24      Today we met with the breast surgeon at Katzmann Breast Center.  Dr. Torstenson.  A lot of people call her Dr. T, but names are important, so I'm trying to say it so I don't forget.  I've heard amazing things about her! The "official" report is maybe not as good as yesterday's "unofficial" report, but I'm still feeling good and positive about it all.   I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.  Stage 1.  Nottingham grade: I (of III) which is good.  The tumor is 1cm.  It is positive for Estrogen and Progesterone.  HER2 is equivocal so I will have a FISH test.  I need to Google that.  Apparently I ALSO have Ductal carcinoma in situ, but she brushed over that like it was nothing....so I will, too.   Jason took notes as fast as possible, and I need to review those as well.   For now, here's the plan.  I will have an MRI in the morning on Tuesday.  That will be facedown, and I will have an IV.  My mom says being in an MRI machine sounds like

 I just sent this email to 120 EDUCATORS.   With the subject title It Takes a Villiage.  VILLIAGE.  I. AM. MORTIFIED.  Parent Square says it updated, but you KNOW they all saw it!  For the LOVE! Hi All, This is a crummy email to write, but I wanted everyone to have the same information at the same time.  I’ve always been a pretty open book, and that’s not about to change…. Wednesday afternoon I received a Breast Cancer diagnosis.  (Mammogram August 29, Mammogram March 29, Biopsy April 8, Diagnosis April 10)  Luckily I was able to meet with a surgeon today.  Here’s what we know now:  I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Stage 1, Nottingham grade 1, Estrogen and Progesterone: Positive, HER2: Equivical.  I don’t know what all of these things mean, but maybe you do….and I’ll learn.   My treatment (as of now) will be an MRI and Genetic testing next week (the first grade concert is going to be JUST fine).  When the tests come back (2 weeks) if the plan is the same, I will have a physical and a

4/11/24  Today was better.  I went to school, picked up my room, got set up.  Friends brought coffee, flowers and hugs. I only cried a couple of times!  Then the day went on….like “normal.”  I did call Dr. Kippes at 8 to ask some questions.  At 11:10, Katzmann Breast Center called and I totally ran out on my class, and STILL missed the call.  For the love.  I called them back and left a message and asked them to call me after 11:30.  I was NOT hungry for lunch.  But then they called and they can get me in tomorrow!  9AM!  I asked if I was dying and that’s why they could get me in so soon.  She said no, that they had a cancellation.   Dr. Kippes’s nurse also called and set up a video appointment with me for 4PM today!  Funny how people will call you back when the diagnosis is cancer.  Ugh. Anyway, I made it through 7 classes until I felt DONE…..the poor 8th and 9th class.   Dr. Kippes had my results in front of her!!!!  She called the cancer a DCIS, that means that it’s not even Stage

  4/10/24 Remember when we had to have blogs for school?  I thought the world was ending.  I’m lucky to still be employed…and how many people actually read them?  Exactly.  Bottom line….if someone would have told be that I would be blogging by choice I would have laughed in their face.  Mom says CaringBridge is for people who are dying.  I feel like I know a lot of alive people who use(d) Caring Bridge.  But I also want to be able to put things in one place so everyone knows everything and no one has to wonder, so here we are. B.C. Before Christ….did I ever use this term?  Maybe in Western Civilization at Simpson with Joe Walt?  Maybe?  I got a C.  It’s a big maybe. B.C. in 2020 that’s what I started calling the time Before Covid. B.C. as of today, April 10 at 2:55 PM, the moment my life changed.  Before Cancer. How many tears are actually in my body, because I haven’t stopped crying? Trish, the breast navigator at Mercy called and left a message to call her back at 2:30.  I called at