It Takes a Village

A little hiatus from the blog, as things are steady, normal-ish, and quiet.  No news is good news? Wednesday- Brunch with Mike and mom at Little Brother.  My first latkes.  Then pedicures, a nap and baseball game. Thursday- Lunch with Mary and mom at Aunt Maude's.  My FIRST parent pick up in 8. years. on. the. last. day. of. school.  Nolan is a lucky boy....also....an 8th grader!  He wanted Freddy's for supper, then hung out with friends and packed for the weekend's scout camp. Friday- I went to school!  (Getting ready takes longer, I'm out of practice!)  I checked out with my team, took stock of my room, and went with Amanda for our annual (and last)😔 check-out day lunch.  It was so nice to see some of my friends!  Met Barb, shoe shopped. While out and about I missed a call from Monday's Radiologist Oncologist that my Oncotype isn't back yet, so we're moving the appointment to Friday.  Ugh!  Prior to that we made a meeting with the travel agent to finalize

No Shit.   I will probably always have my hospital frock open in the front...should I ever need to be gowned for something else, they'll wonder why I have it on backwards. I had my post-op with Dr. Torstenson today.  It felt rushed.  A "break-up" I wasn't quite prepared for.  She ripped off the steri strips- it didn't hurt, but there was no warning, and told me the incisions looked good.  I asked about my armpit pain (normal), TMI ALERT: nipple sensitivity (normal), if this was going to kill me (no), and if I could drum (no- until June 15). She went over the pathology report- 3 lymph nodes, one with 6 minis attached to it, 8mm tumor, nothing scary in the left breast, a "great" pathology report.  Stage 1A, as good as it can be!  Hooray!?! Dr. T said that they're still waiting on my oncotype and that will help the Medical oncologist determine if I need chemo or what the course will be.  WHAT!?  I thought that door was closed.  She seemed to think it wo

Yesterday was such an amazing day!  We were Becky's bitches for Lydia's graduation party.  The weather was perfect, Lydia was happy, I spent all day with my friends and I didn't wear my binder🤐 🙌.  I left my house at 10AM and returned at 8PM, I felt like a giddy little kid!  Last night I also slept the best and longest I have in at least 2 weeks....maybe longer.  Next year is Andrew's graduation, then we take a graduation break until 2029 for Brynn, Calvin and Nolan.  Hopefully there will be other events that require "The Aunties." These women are amazing.  I love them so much, and I cannot imagine life without them.  I've known most of them for over 20 years...and it FEELS like I've known Jordan that long.  Good, bad, hilarious, sad, scary, joyful, we've really weathered a lot. Today was very calm, I visited my drumming friends at Whispers, but didn't drum (repetitive motion).  I'm hoping to be cleared to drum (among other things)Tuesday

Today we were rudely awakened by the blare of tornado warnings on our phones at 4:30AM.  We managed to go back to sleep, and- Silver Lining #1 : I took Nolan to school so he could sleep a little longer.   Jason worked from home today and Silver Lining #2 : I was able to bring him a fluffy coffee after dropping Nolan off.  (I got one, too...I also learned that my current favorite Starbucks drink is 14 WW points.  Damn.) Jason had the afternoon off so Silver Lining #3: we got to watch a Ted Lasso before we Silver Lining #4 were able to listen to Nolan play his last😥 flute solo.  All of his grandparents and Jason were there, mom was his accompanist.  Nolan was wonderful.  Love abounds! Then Silver Lining #5:  Nolan took us out for ice cream (he's practicing with his new GreenLight card for Washington D.C.).   All of these are things I wouldn't have been able to do if this were a "normal year."  It's weird to feel the "and" of a cancer diagnosis.  I have

 Today's events: Bridgerton Season 3 Part 1.  Meh.  It was okay, I was happy with the outcome.  Part 2 is June 13. Mother of the Bride on Netflix- takes place in Phuket, Thailand where my Amanda will be teaching next year.  😭Phuket looked beautiful.  Benjamin Bratt wasn't too bad either.  Netflix version of a Hallmark movie though. I realized that it's NOT my armpit incision that hurts, it's above that.  I wonder if that's where she had to "dig around" to find the sentinel lymph node. I emailed Katlyn, my new Katzmann nurse navigator (Kali is on maternity leave), to ask about the armpit steri strip, as it is coming off.  She said I could clip the part that's coming off, but not to pull the rest off so the incision doesn't open.  Eww. Medical Oncology called, I'm scheduled to see them on 6/10 at 2:30.  They are the people who help people with chemo, and in my case the Tamoxifen I will be on for many years to help ensure I don't have a recur

I feel like I'm on repeat, which isn't a bad thing.   I'm feeling good.  My armpit hurts.  I'm tired.  Is it from surgery and recovery OR because I finished the school year?  It usually takes me about 2 weeks to come back to life when the year ends....so maybe this is that? Mom and I went to the movie IF today.  I was a little sad that Nolan wanted to go to the movie with his friends for his birthday, so my mom and I went today.  We were the only people in the theater parking lot at 11AM.  There were 3 of us in the theater.   SPOILER ALERT:  Within the first 15 minutes of the movie the mom dies of cancer.  The rest of the movie is spent talking about kids growing up and adults growing up and forgetting what it was like to be a kid.  😭😭😭. Seriously.  It was awful.  If I would have been in the theater alone I would have needed an entire box of Kleenex.  Zero stars.  AND I SENT MY CHILD and 2 friends to this movie for his BIRTHDAY.  (He liked it, and was shocked I didn&

I sent this picture to my parents after the last storm.  The response, "Boob clouds...how appropriate for you! (They are really called mammatus clouds.)".  I'm betting that text was a group effort.  My parents are cooler than your parents!   I'm not really a big Wizard of Oz  fan, but the quotes have been perfect!  "There's no place like home," sure does fit today!  I went back to bed after Nolan and Jason left today and woke up to the weather sirens.  My first thought was, "Oh shit, kids are just getting to school, what a nightmare!"  My friends and babies and sub spent 45 minutes in shelter right away, how awful.  I felt so bad for them, and I am so glad I wasn't there.   Today I watched TV and wrote thank yous and it was glorious.  I also slept with my boob pillow which I'd skipped for a couple of days, and I think the extra padding helped my lymph node incision.   Nolan got out of school early as the next round of storms were due to

5/20/24 Today was meh.  I got up to keep Nolan on his normal "school day routine."  I went to the grocery store with mom and did some dishes, laundry and re-watched season 1 of Bridgerton.   I felt hot several times today and my lymph node incision hurt.  Making me feel paranoid about infection.  I don't have a fever, and I've taken Advil and iced...it was also hot outside and the sports bra/binder combo 24/7 might finally be getting to me.  OR was season 1 of Bridgerton? The Radiation Oncologist called, I'm having my first appointment with Dr.  Bodine on June 3.  I'm looking forward to seeing what we can get accomplished before our trip, so I can hit the ground running with radiation when we get back. Nolan had a baseball game, it was a lovely night, I drove for the first time and got to give Angela (family friend on my anesthesia team)a coherent side hug, and thank you.  I'm going to take one of those anxiety pills (on purpose) and go to bed.   Tomorrow

Today a TEENAGER lives at our house!  We're already catching glimpses of the angst of growing up.  Wanting presents, but not knowing what.  Going with the flow when plans have to change.  He's going to be okay.  He doesn't smell like BO yet, nor is his voice cracking....more fun to come!  And while I was filled with SO much love 13 years ago, TMI ALERT: I do believe ALL of my lady bits feel better today than they did then.  Yes, even after having lumpectomy surgery 5 days ago.  #onlychild Last week we set the world on fire.  Mother's Day, baseball, my last day of school, band concert, 2 lumpectomies, Jason's birthday, Nolan's party.  This week we go back to "normal-ish."  Jason's going to work, Nolan to school.  I intend to do very slow, light laundry and a little grocery shopping with my mom.  Nolan has an orthodontist appointment and baseball games Monday and Tuesday if the weather cooperates.  I'm looking forward to rest.   My back felt bett

  What a day!  I feel like I'm returning to the land of the living.  Jason and Nolan went to baseball practice and mom chauffeured me around for errands.  We went to Target for Starbucks and 13th b-day party snacks, La Mie because what 13 year old doesn't request La Mie for their birthday breakfast, and a couple other places for gift cards.  Towards the end I wasn't feeling great....I'm putting my finger on fluffy coffee after 4 days with none, no breakfast (I don't usually eat breakfast), and HOT with the sports bra and binder.  Anyway, I got home, had some lunch and went straight to bed.  I probably should have started a little slower today. The afternoon was calm.  Susan stopped to drop some things off from the music team, and food for next week.  We (mostly Jason and Nolan), prepped for Nolan's friends.  May seemed like such a good time to have a baby for a teacher, but uffda, it's SO busy.  Nolan knew he wanted a few friends to sleep over- kids from dif

Melanie, a nurse navigator with Katzmann, called me at 5:15PM on a Friday.   All 8 lymph nodes are negative for cancer. All margins are clean for the carcinoma in the right breast.  It was .31," making it stage 1A. No malignancy found in the lobular hyperplasia on the left.   Next week I can plan on a phone call from medical oncology to schedule an appointment to discuss and start on hormone blockers.  I should also receive a call from radiation oncology to get that scheduled.   Today I am tired.  My pain isn't bad, I will probably take ONE of the CORRECT pain pills before bed, but otherwise took Advil once today.  I'm not trying to be brave or strong.  Honestly, my lower back hurts the most right now because of all the laying. Jason worked from home today.  My parents stopped for birthday cake, took me on a short walk, I read some, and pulled out all of the thank you writing supplies...and now I'm ready for another nap.  Jason and Nolan went to see Hawkeye Baseball at

I realized this ridiculousness at 1AM. Sitting right next to the bottle of Oxycodone (pain narcotic) was a new bottle of hydroxyzine (a little bump of anxiety meds for when I'm especially anxious.) Jason brought me my first oxy on 5/15 at 9PM.  Then I was left in charge.  And I didn't read the pill bottle.   I was sure confident.  Turns out I'd been giving myself a hydroxyzine every 4 hours yesterday-no wonder I was so tired.  I realized this at 1AM today.   So...between the hours of 1AM on 5/15 and 1AM on 5/17 I had zero pain medication.  Zero.  No wonder it felt a little sore.  Needless to say I've put the anxiety med in a drawer farrr away so as to not get the two mixed up.   I'm lucky I don't run into more walls.😳

                                                                                        Today is Jason's 42nd birthday!  Perhaps not one he cares to remember.  He was up with me every 4 hours to make sure I was medicated, and then took Nolan to school, he also mowed the lawn and check in on me often.  My routine today has been sleeping and eating on repeat.  We did watch 1 episode of Ted Lasso.  And I finally finished a book I've been reading forever.  Jason's parents brought over homemade pizza and cookies for supper (his favorite) and my friend, Emily, made this glorious peanut butter chocolate cake. As for me- sleeping and eating.  My eyes are weird, so I actually need my readers right now, hopefully that fuzziness goes away.  I showered this afternoon which felt really good, and it also allowed me to see the incisions.  They weren't as gross as I was expecting.  I've been wearing the zip up sports bra as instructed as well as a binder.  I'll get to do that u

 5/15/24 Today was the day!! I woke to my alarm, which was a little surprising as I was expecting to not sleep all that well, but quickly got moving and ready to go. I opted to skip breakfast so Ann wouldn't be hangry at me since she couldn't eat or drink and instead packed a granola bar for when she was in pre-op. We arrived right just before 7:00 and were checked in without any issues. At 7:10 she was called back to start labs and prepping for eventual surgery. I settled into a a spot in the waiting room where I could look out the window, see the TV, see the door where they came to give updates and see the "patient status" screen. Think of it like "Sheldon's spot" (Big Bang Theory reference for those not familiar).  I got called back about 30 minutes later to spend some time with Ann, before she was taken to mammography and nuclear medicine. She was hooked up to an IV at this point, which we were convinced had something "special" in it becaus

 5/15/24 The day I've been waiting for since I learned I had breast cancer.  Surgery day!  I slept amazingly well, and my alarm went off at 5:30.  I did wake up at 5 and had 7 oz of water.  My mom came at 6:15 to hang with Nolan.  I loved him up yesterday, and he slept in this morning.  Jason and I drove downtown.  The "blue level" that we were supposed to go to in the parking ramp was totally out of commission, so we started a little lost....but only a little. I checked in about 7, signed my life away and shortly after, they brought me back to prep.  My prep nurse was Julie .  Urine sample (gross), change clothes, started IV.  Also, in case you were wondering...no tampons allowed.  Then Jason came back and we chatted but I was SO tired, it was bizarre, but there wasn't anything weird in the IV.  An anesthesiologist came in to visit with me, I shared my concerns, but I didn't feel overly nervous or scared today.  No tears. I asked Jason the time, I tried to read,

 5/14/24 That's a wrap on the 23-24 school year for me.  Year 20.  Weirdest ending, second only to spring 2020.   Lots of hugs, lots of pink, lots of love....no tears...almost, but not quite.  I feel like I've been preparing for tomorrow for the last month, and I'm glad it's finally here.  Get. It. Out. After school I had a hair cut and went to Nolan's (last) band concert (ever)...for now.   Now we're home.  I'm trying to drink a bucket of water, as I assume tomorrow, when I can't drink anything, I will be more thirsty I have ever been in my life.   Mercy called today and my times have been moved up .  I report at 7AM, seed 1 placed at 8:30, seed 2 placed at 9:15, surgery at 10:30 for 135 minutes (2 hours 15 minutes).  I'm glad it's earlier, however that means that Jason and I will not be seeing Nolan off.  My mom's coming to get Nolan rolling....or not.  Frankly I don't care if he stays in his pjs all day.  Whatever makes everybody happy

 Guess what color is opposite pink on the color wheel?  Not.  Even.  Planned.  What a guy!😍

 5/13/24 Today I thought I probably should have made Friday my last day of school.  Gulp.  My brain is all over the place, and my patience is nearly non-existent. Mercy called during school to ask a bunch of questions, and tell me that surgery will be 135 minutes.  I am getting more and more anxious about all of this.  Adding insult to injury TMI ALERT: I just got my first real period in years (thanks IUD!), COME ON BODY!  So now I'm also stressing about feminine hygiene products during surgery and recovery.  Insert ALLLL the swear words here. Some of my amazing kids and their teachers showered me with love at the end of the day, which reignited the water works.  I was able to participate in the last WEA meeting of the year- Barb has been President extraordinaire while her "co" has been out of commission.  I am so grateful to her for taking that off of my plate!  (I also haven't really missed it....😳) Then I got to watch Nolan's baseball game (longest ever), he h

 5/12/24 I love Mother's Day.  I think I might love it more than my birthday.  Jason and Nolan made brunch while I finished updating my seating charts.  I love brunch SO much.  I wish I could eat at 10AM and 4PM every day.   I made a couple rhubarb coffee cakes, as Jordan gifted me an obscene amount of rhubarb, and folded laundry.  Jason was beside himself that I was working so hard on Mother's Day, bless his heart.  I reminded him that next weekend he'd be doing the laundry and cooking, cleaning AND being a primary supervisor of a small 13th birthday sleepover.  Plus...I LIKE to bake and oddly enough, I LIKE to do laundry. Djembe class was back today after a 2 week hiatus.  It was powerful, I was surrounded by so much love and positivity.  The flood gates were opened, and I'm a little afraid they may not close again until after Wednesday.   We took Biaggi's Pronto packs to my parent's house for Mother's Day and enjoyed supper and an array of desserts and re

  It's probably pretty egotistical to be in awe of how the universe seems to be speaking specifically to me.  Yesterday, May 10, was a month since my diagnosis.  Yesterday we saw the Aurora Borealis 20 minutes from our house...on Aurora Avenue.  Thursday I was feeling kind of emotional about the last month, and how much it seems like life has changed.  Yesterday and today I've been too busy to feel much of anything.  The light show in the sky helped me have a moment of reflection and feel like I have the well wishes of the universe as we move into surgery week. Yesterday I started telling my classes that they would have a substitute from now on when they come to music class because I am having surgery.  If pressed, I told them there is something in my body that shouldn't be, we're taking care of it, and I'll be good as new in August!  I'm not trying to keep secrets from them, but I also don't want our whole class to be spent talking about everyone they know

  This is my current state!   I've finished my sub plans and sub slides.   Next:       progress reports,       thank you's,      goodbyes,      prepping my room,      prepping our  house,     Jason's & Nolan's birthday organization,     Mother's Day organization,     Read surgery packet,     Pre-Op Physical tomorrow at 2:40 No vitamins, supplements or ibuprofen after tomorrow. Those purple minions make me giggle.  I feel their pain.  I'll get my shot of gross jelly and turn "normal" again on Wednesday!  It's getting REAL, and I'm having feelings...I'll share those this weekend- fire up!

  Today was a bizarre day.  I thought of six weird things that happened at school.  They best be left off the blog, because I do enjoy my job.   I had been hoping Corrina, my Katzmann scheduler, would call me all day!  I even had my dad text me a picture of her business card as I decided when to start bothering her.  At 3 I decided I would email and if I didn't hear back, I would call her at noon tomorrow.  She called me at 4!!!  I haven't been that excited for a phone call in a long time!  Surgery is scheduled for noon on Wednesday, May 15!!!! I have to be Downtown at ambulatory surgery at 8.  At 8:30 I will have breast seed localization in one breast and at 9:15 in the other.  This is when a tiny metal seed, about the size of a sesame seed, is placed into abnormal breast tissue.  This seed contains a small amount of radiation, and will help Dr. T find the area of abnormal tissue because they are too small to be see or felt by hand.  (That paragraph was mostly provided by the

Today I set the world on fire. Mulching, planting, mowing, dishes, laundry.  I'm giving credit to the Hyper we had at 11, but I felt strong and unstoppable!  Remind my body I said that when I hurt everywhere tomorrow. Yesterday I took 2 naps, went to Nolan's musical (amazing), drank margaritas (Blue Agave has flights) and watched TV (Master Chef Jr and CSI). Balance. Jason and Nolan have a cold or something.  That's not on my May bingo card of things to do.  I've moved into the guest room and am washing my hands, rinsing my sinuses and EmergenC-ing as much as I can. This week is Teacher Appreciation Week, one of my favorite weeks of the year.  I currently have NO ABSENCES SCHEDULED for the rest of May.  I'm hoping to get a call tomorrow or Tuesday about when surgery will be.  The sooner the better.  It would be sad to miss the end of the year for MANY reasons, but Tabitha, Tallulah and Lymphadora need to get. out. of. my. body.

 I had an appointment with Dr. Torstenson today.  The purpose of today's appointment was to discuss the final surgery plan and schedule surgery...I thought.  Everything is the same as discussed in the first meeting, right side lumpectomy, right side sentinel lymph node biopsy.  We've added in a lumpectomy for Tabitha on the left side, but that won't include lymph nodes or radiation because it's not cancer. So....stuff we already knew.  And...the person who does the scheduling had. the. day. off.  This is reasonable.  She gets a day off.  But UGH!  I thought today was the day!  They made it sound like surgery will happen in May in the next 2 or 3 weeks.  I keep reminding them about our trip with the caveat that I DO know my life and health are more important....but if I can go, I want to go. The next time I will see Dr. T it will be when she places the seeds for surgery.  Bring it on!  Supposedly I will get a phone call with the date next week.  I will then need to sched

 5/1/24 Full disclosure- I had to Google "Justin Timberlake song about May."  I saw the memes and had no clue.  Anyway, It's Gonna Be May! I told a friend yesterday that I think April was the worst month of my life, but then thought about it a little more.  I felt SO much LOVE.  My diagnosis, prognosis and treatment (mostly) aren't (that) scary.  So get ready for this new analogy.  (Some of you are going to think I am the WORST.) This month has been a lot like the month after Nolan was born.  I was anxious and scared all the time (not that I would die...but maybe that he would), I was exhausted, and filled with SO. MUCH. LOVE.  #onlychild Stage 1 Breast Cancer Diagnosis = First Month of Newborn. OMG.  HORRIBLE!  I'm laughing.  I can't believe I wrote that.   I love that kid more than anything, and I loved him so much then, but damn, that was hard.  I'll not be keeping Tabitha or Tallulah in a jar of formaldehyde to gaze upon, I'm NOT glad I have them.